So I leave Croatia in 17 hours.
Real soon. I'll be home in about 31 hours with my family.

How I feel right now is not clear.
I have no idea.
Well...okay honesty.
I'm kind of anxious. I don't know if it's that I'm excited. But I'm not completely happy. I'm sad to be saying goodbye, but at this point I've said it so many times already that it's already gone through my system and it doesn't hurt as much as it did.
I'm sick of sitting around waiting to go home. That's the worst feeling ever. After watching two of my friends already go home this past week, being in Croatia without them feels funny. It's not like my life revolved around them, but for some reason it still doesn't feel right. And Croatia doesn't have the same meaning to me that it used to when I was with all of my friends. So it's not exactly as comfortable as it used to be, I guess. Which kills me to say. It's strange to think that I can't be in Croatia totally alone and feel at home. But like the cheesy saying says "home is where the heart is" and my heart is with all of my friends, not completely just for this country (not saying I don't love this country though)
So coming home feels right. It's like the scary part in a movie. When you hear the music, you foresee that something is going to pop out. You know it's going to happen, which makes you feel even more stupid when it still makes you jump. You just sit there and have to watch it unfold even though you know what is going to happen, and you can't just jump past it. You have to sit there and watch the whole thing.
That's how I feel.
I knew this was coming, I see it coming, it's going to happen, I'm going home tomorrow. I just hate sitting around watching my days disappear, watching friends get on their airplanes and fly back to their families, packing and then unpacking and then repacking and then weighing and then unpacking some more (one of the most frustrating things ever!)
side note
I HATE PACKING!
FUCK THAT!
It has pissed me off so much this past week, I'm sorry for the rude langauge. But seriously. I mean I know I've shopped this year, but I didn't freaking bye a whole mall. Why is it that I have to give away more than half my clothes?!? Not fair. I've even given up shoes and a purse! FORRIZZLES! Why don't you just rip my heart out while your at it, airport regulations!
My Rotary club gave me some money though as a going away present 3 days before I leave, I'm not exactly sure what they'd want me to spend it on anyways. And I plan on using that to help pay for my overweight fees I'll be getting at the airport.

Anyways, I don't really feel like discussing my feelings. But I know I might want to know how I was feeling later on in life, and it can't hurt just having it somewhere in writing. Also I bet everyone back home is curious as to how I'm feeling right now.
I'm not depressed, not anymore.
I'm not super excited.
I'm not happy.
I'm not sad.
I'm confused, anxious, nervous, unsure, and any other emotion that can vaguely describe my feelings.

Alright I'm going to kava (coffee) with my friends one last time before I go.

Meow.

Bok bok. Vidimo se uskoro (nadam se)