So the last blog was a little depressing. I was running on two hours of sleep and I had just gotten back from a farewell party, so everything was kind of in a gloomy mood basically.
But I won't lie, it's not like that was the only time I felt like that.
With this year winding down, my time has become more precious. Months turned into weeks, turned into days, turned into hours, minutes, and soon enough everything will count by the second.
I leave for Euro-tour tonight.
I'm super pumped, for obvious reasons. And all of the Zagreb kids will be together for the last three weeks we have together. We already discussed that there will be tears on the trip, but hopefully we can hold it together until the end.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
These people here are my family. They are my life. No one can possibly understand what I go through like they do. I tell them everything and anything. I can't say I've been as close to a lot of my friends back home as I am close to these guys. It is seriously heartbreaking to know I can't live my life in Wisconsin with them.
Facebook and skype save our asses, that's for sure, but just like a long distanced relationship, there's only so much you can do and say over skype. There comes a point when you just feel alone, without them.
Also I know reverse culture shock is going to kick my ass when I get home. If I thought the initial culture shock was hard, I have a whole lot of work in store for me when I get home. It's going to be hardddd!
But I won't get too sappy and down in this blog because I need to be excited!
I'm starting a trip around Europe tonight!!!
We get on a 9:15 train to Salzburg. We get to Salzburg at 4 a.m. where we switch trains to Linz and get tehre around 8 I believe and then have to hangout until the Austrian exchangers get there around 10 and then first stop Prague.
I'm overwhelmed with a lot of different emotions it's hard to say how I feel like right now.
Most people ask if I'm excited and I say not really.
Then they ask if I'm sad, and I say not yet really.
I don't know how I feel. I'm really good at analyzing everything and everything else.
But when it comes to analyzing oneself... it's a whole different story. You'd think it'd be easier...but I'm not sure of myself for the most part...so I can't say I'm sure about how I feel.
HONESTY!!
Dani would be so proud of me.
Honesty is taking over my life and I've realized sometimes honesty is not soo good.
My mother told me that I shouldn't feel ashamed of my actions and shouldn't feel people are judging me, especially if I don't tell them what I did.
I guess she means I shouldn't share every story I've had this year because there's the possibility someone will judge me because they don't fully understand the life of an exchange student.
So once again, my tongue is out to ruin my life.
I seriously need to keep my thoughts to myself...being outspoken and opinionated is a real curse because it only makes people pissed at you.
So yes...offsubject Emma...again...
Main point to this blog
I LEAVE TONIGHT TO TRAVEL AROUND EUROPE!
Our destinations are Prague, Hannover, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Bruges, Paris (for three days!), Toulouse, Barcelona (for three days!), Avignon, Monaco, Lavagna, Lucca, Piza, Florence, Jesolo, Venice and then Innisbrook. In a matter of 17 days!
Then I come back to Zagreb for a week then back my bags and come home :(
I'll put up pictures of europe when I get back!
AHH!!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Short blog. I know, it must be a relief for you.
I'm not okay.
I'm confused, unsure, upset, unaware, afraid, sad, angry, annoyed...the list honestly goes on and on.
There are a number of things that bring about these feelings.
I'm leaving soon. Dealing with reverse culture shock. Family problems. Saying goodbye to Croatia.
It's strange to think of how unsettling it all is right now. If I could I would just stay right here forever so I don't have to worry about going home and having to deal with everything that is causing me to feel this extreme anxiety. I don't want to deal. I don't want to bother. I just want to stay happy here where I am.
But the show must go on...
This is not a good feeling. What-so-ever.
I'm not okay.
I'm confused, unsure, upset, unaware, afraid, sad, angry, annoyed...the list honestly goes on and on.
There are a number of things that bring about these feelings.
I'm leaving soon. Dealing with reverse culture shock. Family problems. Saying goodbye to Croatia.
It's strange to think of how unsettling it all is right now. If I could I would just stay right here forever so I don't have to worry about going home and having to deal with everything that is causing me to feel this extreme anxiety. I don't want to deal. I don't want to bother. I just want to stay happy here where I am.
But the show must go on...
This is not a good feeling. What-so-ever.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sooo I'm bored. And it's 12:46 at night and I'm tired, but I have this feeling that I don't want to sleep. I don't know if I'm the only one who's ever had this feeling, but here it is, and I kind of like it.
I've also been playing around on StumbleUpon. For those dinosaurs out there, it's this website where you select all you're interest, click stumble, and are taken to a random webpage that lies in one of the categories of interests.
Which led me to a quote page.
And since I'm feeling a little philosophical, I'll share with ya'll some of my favorite quotes.
(If you skip this blog, I totally understand. Not much of this has to do with Croatia at all. This is just an Emma blog)
There never was a good war or a bad peace.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
God, please save me from your followers.
If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
Okay, so yeah. Those are pretty much my favorite quotes. I would honestly say I live my life by these, or at least want to.
During this year, I would say I have become a whole lot more honest. Not like I used to lie a lot, or much at all. But holding back information or letting someone be mislead is no different then a flat out untrue statement. And this year (with plenty of help from Dani and her need for honesty) I just say more. Which makes me look dumb sometimes. But I feel like it's more important to make an effort in some situations then to not take part at all. Or to just be a little more upfront. I've always been outgoing, but it's not the same as upfront.
I can be an in your face kind of person, but only with the right people. I feel like there's a part somewhere in those characteristics that have changed, hopefully for the better.
Also, another shout to my home-girl Dani, in my birthday card from her she wrote something about never changing my straight-forward self and to keep on saying what's on my mind. Granted, it's sometimes best to hold one's tongue. But still, I'm glad to hear things like that. I won't brag, but I won't act ignorant about knowing myself. I appreciate the things Dani says to me. Even if it's "I didn't like you in the beginning because I thought you were obnoxious" (lovely, I know)
I was having a conversation with a friend while they were extremely intoxicated. He said to me that stupid people are more interesting. They ask interesting questions and keep people entertained. Smart people never ask interesting questions because they only have the answers, never the curiosity. They only have the answers. Then he went on to compare smart people to horses. You know the one's that wear those things on their heads during races to keep them looking straight ahead. Smart people are horses who run straight, and it's boring. He said me and him were the horses who ran around going off track and doing as we please. Insightful words from a drunk man. He also mentioned we would get married, him wanting to get a tattoo of an octopus, he's old obsession with speaking English with a Russian accent, and how he's dating a cougar. Very interesting indeed.
Since I'm so bored and feel like blogging and in this deep look inside yourself mood, here's a true test of my honesty. (Whatever frenemies or even bluntly enemies I have ever had will be having kittens when or if they see this)
Things that scare Emma Hansen the most.
1. Being actually thought of as stupid, especially when it involves not being taken seriously.
2. Limitations.
3. Being ignorant.
4. Having a serious relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
5. Not being able to cheer someone up or make someone laugh.
6. Watching suffering and not do anything.
7. Flying.
8. Growing up.
9. Being the bad guy.
10. Losing.
11. Knowing the truth.
There's more, trust me, I'm definitely not a simple person, contrary to popular belief.
But that's as deep as Emma is willing to go at 2:24 A.M.
(I've been distracted while writing this, it didn't actually take me 2 hours to write)
Also!
I have more pictures to add!
Enjoy
I've also been playing around on StumbleUpon. For those dinosaurs out there, it's this website where you select all you're interest, click stumble, and are taken to a random webpage that lies in one of the categories of interests.
Which led me to a quote page.
And since I'm feeling a little philosophical, I'll share with ya'll some of my favorite quotes.
(If you skip this blog, I totally understand. Not much of this has to do with Croatia at all. This is just an Emma blog)
There never was a good war or a bad peace.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
God, please save me from your followers.
If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated
A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
Okay, so yeah. Those are pretty much my favorite quotes. I would honestly say I live my life by these, or at least want to.
During this year, I would say I have become a whole lot more honest. Not like I used to lie a lot, or much at all. But holding back information or letting someone be mislead is no different then a flat out untrue statement. And this year (with plenty of help from Dani and her need for honesty) I just say more. Which makes me look dumb sometimes. But I feel like it's more important to make an effort in some situations then to not take part at all. Or to just be a little more upfront. I've always been outgoing, but it's not the same as upfront.
I can be an in your face kind of person, but only with the right people. I feel like there's a part somewhere in those characteristics that have changed, hopefully for the better.
Also, another shout to my home-girl Dani, in my birthday card from her she wrote something about never changing my straight-forward self and to keep on saying what's on my mind. Granted, it's sometimes best to hold one's tongue. But still, I'm glad to hear things like that. I won't brag, but I won't act ignorant about knowing myself. I appreciate the things Dani says to me. Even if it's "I didn't like you in the beginning because I thought you were obnoxious" (lovely, I know)
I was having a conversation with a friend while they were extremely intoxicated. He said to me that stupid people are more interesting. They ask interesting questions and keep people entertained. Smart people never ask interesting questions because they only have the answers, never the curiosity. They only have the answers. Then he went on to compare smart people to horses. You know the one's that wear those things on their heads during races to keep them looking straight ahead. Smart people are horses who run straight, and it's boring. He said me and him were the horses who ran around going off track and doing as we please. Insightful words from a drunk man. He also mentioned we would get married, him wanting to get a tattoo of an octopus, he's old obsession with speaking English with a Russian accent, and how he's dating a cougar. Very interesting indeed.
Since I'm so bored and feel like blogging and in this deep look inside yourself mood, here's a true test of my honesty. (Whatever frenemies or even bluntly enemies I have ever had will be having kittens when or if they see this)
Things that scare Emma Hansen the most.
1. Being actually thought of as stupid, especially when it involves not being taken seriously.
2. Limitations.
3. Being ignorant.
4. Having a serious relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
5. Not being able to cheer someone up or make someone laugh.
6. Watching suffering and not do anything.
7. Flying.
8. Growing up.
9. Being the bad guy.
10. Losing.
11. Knowing the truth.
There's more, trust me, I'm definitely not a simple person, contrary to popular belief.
But that's as deep as Emma is willing to go at 2:24 A.M.
(I've been distracted while writing this, it didn't actually take me 2 hours to write)
Also!
I have more pictures to add!
Enjoy
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