I have a few things to talk about in this blog. I´ll go by time order.
First off, my host family left Wednesday morning to the States. They´re daughter is a lucky butt and gets to be an exchange student in Florida, somewhere near Miami. So they left Wednesday and spent a few days in New York, then head on over to Florida.
So they are going to be gone for two weeks basically, leaving the apartment to me. One problem though, they are having the bathroom with the shower renovated. So that means, no showering for me. So I´m spending these two weeks at Lauras (Mexican) house with her host parents. I go to school with Laura so I see her like everyday and we hangout a lot, so I really hope that having to spend two weeks with her doesn´t totally ruin our friendship. So far, so good.
But before they left, they gave me my present. They gave me a cute little card and some money.
I love them. They are cute and sweet and funny.
I´ve been really fortunate with my host families I´ve gotten. I liked both of them very much.
Off subject, but as I write this blog, Laura is taking a shower. And at some point in the middle of the night the water heater stopped working. So she needs to shower still and the water is freezing. So right now, she is crying out loud and yelling because of the cold water. I find it extremely funny.
On friday, April 15th, Jacob was sent home. He was an exchange student staying in Osijek, which is in the most eastern part of Croatia. He was from the U.S. but apparently he was having trouble getting along with his family, his rotary club, his classmates, his teachers, and just about everyone. So after this long of problems, they finally sent him home. I know it sounds terrible that I don´t feel that bad. But he has on a few occassions told us that he doesn´t like us and he didn´t remember any of our names. Kind of hurtful, ya know? He´s been homeschooled his entire life, so his social skills are obviously not the best. And he was young. I don´t know if he was really ready or equiped enough to survive a year abroad.
But now that´s two exchange students sent home.
Anyways, next up on my list would be MY BIRTHDAY!!! I turned 19 on April 16th! I feel old. I know that people older than me are probably like ¨No way, Emma. You are still young. You´re like a baby still¨
But I feel old. I´m barely a teenager now. I still feel like I´m 14. I like to be able to use the excuse of being a teen so I can act immaturely with my friends. Soon enough I´ll have to act all serious all the time and stuff. Ew. Boring. Whatever though. I won´t complain about getting old. But my ideal life would be forever being 17 or 18.
Anyways, for my birthday I invited all my exchange friends and a few croatians and told the exchangers that they could bring their croatian friends. But it ended up just being us exchangers, which was fine with me. They are my closest friends here, like my family. So I was just happy being with them on my birthday.
Laura is now swearing in Spanish.
Back to my birthday. I woke up in the morning and Laura´s host mom made me a cake. So I ate some and Dorothy and Theresa came over and had some cake too and we all hung out. I got ready at Laura´s. Then I met up with the rest of the kids and we all got ready some more and hungout for a while and played some games until it was later. Then we went to this club called Aquarious. Which was doing some light show thing where everything glowed and they had people in the club that would draw on your face with glow in the dark stuff. It was fun. The music was good. We all got crazy. The club could not handle me, that´s all I´m saying. We stayed out really late and got back and went to sleep around 6 in the morning. It was a very special occassion so I stayed out late. I know, bad Emma. But it was my birthday.
But seriously, I know I mention it a lot, but these exchangers here are my best of friends. I love them all. Earlier in the evening I asked someone a truth or dare question and they chose truth. And I could NOT think of anything to ask because at this point, we all know each other well enough that there´s nothing else we could want to know that we don´t already know about each other. Like honestly, I love them to death. These are the people I spend my exchange with. The people that understand me and know me. Just about every laugh was shared with them. Every funny story involves them. Every happy memory is with them. Without them, this would not be the year it has been. They make everything special for me and I love them.
Next up on my calender is Dubrovnik! We go to Dubrovnik next Monday. Dubrovnik is like one of the tourist capitals of Europe. It´s one of the bigget tourist destinations and used to be one of the cheapest tourist destinations. It´s this huge old resort-like town on the most southern tip of Croatia. I´m so incredibly excited to go!
Then next up is EUROPE TOUR!!! I can´t wait at all.
When Laura and I first started hanging out all we could at first talk about was the Euro-tour because that´s what we were so excited for. But then we started to have fun and make friends and make memories. It felt like we were excited for Euro-tour but we had time. Now we don´t really have time and Euro-tour coming so soon sort of marks the end of our exchange. So I´m excited for it, but I´m dreading it too.
We´ve all talked about it and we´re sure that we will be spending many nights crying on Euro-tour because we will all miss each other and we all know that we have to go home soon.
It will be sad.
But till then, we will party!
Oh, also, the other night I was skyping with my sister. And Laura was in the room and we were talking about something I didn´t want Leah to hear about, so we were talking about it in Croatian.
We weren´t exactly fast or completely correct on everything we said. But we did it. And I hope I impressed Leah.
I can speak more Croatian then most of the people in the United States can, and that´s all I need I guess.
Also I´m still waiting to find Britney´s new CD in Croatia. So far, I have no luck.
Laura is now hiding under the blankets because she´s freezing. Her words after getting out of the shower were,
¨I feel like the shower just rape me¨
yes her grammar is a little funny, but that´s laura for ya.
Now I must get ready for school and all. And eat some of Laura´s food.
Later gator
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
This is has nothing really to do with Croatia or much less me being abroad
just a little off subject i suppose, but I've been watching far too many documentaries about religion.
Religion
It can be bittersweet.
It's good to have faith when it feels like all hope is lost. When someone has nothing, it's good to have something or someone to pray to or talk to or confess to.
When people have these morals from religions to give to the poor and the help the helpless, it's beautiful that they have some motivation to help the world, whether religion is or is not involved.
But when someone of religion has it all. Money, cars, house(s), children, wife/husband, good job...they believe they have achieved all of this because of their faith. Honestly, I don't care how they believe they got to that point. The bitter part takes over when they believe it is their right to make everyone the same religion as them. And people go to all extremes to do so.
Like I've mentioned, I'm not religious. I have no plan to change it and I'm fine the way my life is.
People who are religious, that's great. I'm happy that you're happy with the way your religion helps you, saves you, or whatever else there is.
I show respect, even though I can't say I agree. I understand differences in lifestyles and life choices and I understand that everyone cannot and should not be the same. I do not tell people of faith to abandon it and join me in an army of hate and murder. I don't tell people of religion they are dumb and that they should follow me because I'm smarter and my life is better.
No, I do not.
But I see people of religions doing it everyday. Okay, not the army of hate and murder, but they do accuse people such as myself of being that. I'm no devil or demon or angel. All that I know is that I'm Emma. A blonde, blue eyed, tall girl from a little town in Wisconsin. That's all there is.
When choosing a religion became something I need to do, I was torn. My mother had raised me to believe there was a God and there were angels and that I could ask for help and if I was good I would receive it. I was baptized in a Catholic church. I went to some weekly youth church meetings. I watched Touched by an Angel and Seventh Heaven. I took the advice I was given and I did what I could with it.
But things weren't as easy as everyone said. I was a good kid. I behaved when I could, even though I've apparently always had a mind of my own. But I was no bully and I took care of my little sister, I ate my peas (sometimes), I went to school...I like to think I was a good kid.
But life at home grew unstable. My older sister wasn't exactly a role model. This is something I don't tell very often, so it's a big deal I'm adding this to my blog. But all I'll say is that she really tested us as a family. She did some things that I hope she regrets and my home life was held together by a very thin string. I did my prayers though. I prayed and I prayed. I gave things up. I made deals with God. I was nicer to my little sister. I did as my parents said. I behaved. But things never got better. I asked for everything to get better. I asked for the yelling to stop. I asked for my older sister back. I wanted my family back. If there is a God and he did hear me, it took him about four-five years to get my messages.
But the thing is, whether there was a God or not, it wasn't his problem to fix. I hated God at this time because he would not help me. But I know, now, that all I needed was for my sister to wake up and realize she loved us. I just wanted her to know we were all she had and I wanted her to show that she loved me back. What I needed was only something she could give. God can't make someone else do something. He can't control the way people think. And if he did, I would not be happy. I would want me sister to get better because she wanted to, not because God made her want to.
I guess it all gets a little sloppy and confusing at moments like this because some people would be like but God is everyone and everything and he is you. Some people are like God is up in the sky watching you from below. Wherever He is or whatever He is, doesn't matter.
If there is a God, then those who believe him would be right. That would be their price, the glory of knowing they are right.
But whether there is one or not should not be an everyday issue going on. That's what I realized. When people ask me," what religion are you?" I simply say none. Then they ask "so atheist?" and I say "no". I don't need a label and I shouldn't have to have one.
What religion someone is should not need to be common knowledge.
I chose to be of no religion what so ever because I don't know what to believe and I don't care.
I just want to spend my life living happy, making others happy, and dieing happy. Where I go from there is a mystery. But I'll worry about it when I get there. Until then, I'll do what I want.
The only problem to choosing to be of no specific religion is that while I choose to keep thoughts of God to myself, the rest of the world is making it world news. I can't seem to live life without having to choose a side. Somewhere sometime someone drew a line. And now everyone feels a need to choose. I don't want to. But when people make the issue of God and Jesus and the Bible and everything like that a topic on everyone's mind, I feel the pressure. I won't choose because I don't want to. I don't need to. And especially because the world is trying to make me.
Also, if you work you're butt off, or someone does something nice for you, or just things go right, why is that God gets the credit. I know that if there is one, He'd be thrilled that you're life is going good. But when you work hard or someone does something good, why don't they get the credit? We all have freewill, right? Then why don't those nice people out there get credited for doing kind acts? Why is it when you study hard, work hard, or just try hard, the credit is given to God. YOU did it! Be proud and take that pride, rejoice in it. You deserve it. I believe that people should be credited for the good they do. God can't make anyone do anything. Only we can. Accept it and work it. It was you. Be happy about it.
If there's a God, he will accept me whether I spent time worshiping him or not because I'm a good person.
I never hurt people intentionally. I spend too much time taking care of other people. I live life to the fullest. And I am a very accepting person and I don't hate others because they are different.
Another thing to add is the whole bringing religion into politics. Our founding fathers were in fact not religious. People always say we had Christian founding fathers, but they were far from that.
If your beliefs say that doing an action that is legal for others to do is wrong, then don't do it. It's better to test those of your religion by giving them the options anyways. If you think it's wrong that leave it be and don't do it.
But why in the world do religious people think it is their right to make these decisions for other people. It's not their place and it's not their life. If someone wants to sin and go to hell, then let them. It leaves more room in heaven. Don't think it's God's way to legalize everything against the bible. Might as well throw away the constitution and use the bible instead.
I'm sorry to sound so pissed off, but really. Everyone has their own choice in life to do what they want with it. Let them live it.
Okay I realize in the blog I sound like I'm generalizing all religious people into one group of crazy religious people. I know there are people of faith who are good. I have friends and family who are religious and I know they are the purest hearts ever. But when there is good there is bad. And the bad is what drives me insane.
Sorry again for this totally nothing to do with Croatia kind of blog. But watching too many religion based documentaries is obviously not good for you.. And so I had a lot of feelings I needed to let out. Thanks for letting me waste your time.
just a little off subject i suppose, but I've been watching far too many documentaries about religion.
Religion
It can be bittersweet.
It's good to have faith when it feels like all hope is lost. When someone has nothing, it's good to have something or someone to pray to or talk to or confess to.
When people have these morals from religions to give to the poor and the help the helpless, it's beautiful that they have some motivation to help the world, whether religion is or is not involved.
But when someone of religion has it all. Money, cars, house(s), children, wife/husband, good job...they believe they have achieved all of this because of their faith. Honestly, I don't care how they believe they got to that point. The bitter part takes over when they believe it is their right to make everyone the same religion as them. And people go to all extremes to do so.
Like I've mentioned, I'm not religious. I have no plan to change it and I'm fine the way my life is.
People who are religious, that's great. I'm happy that you're happy with the way your religion helps you, saves you, or whatever else there is.
I show respect, even though I can't say I agree. I understand differences in lifestyles and life choices and I understand that everyone cannot and should not be the same. I do not tell people of faith to abandon it and join me in an army of hate and murder. I don't tell people of religion they are dumb and that they should follow me because I'm smarter and my life is better.
No, I do not.
But I see people of religions doing it everyday. Okay, not the army of hate and murder, but they do accuse people such as myself of being that. I'm no devil or demon or angel. All that I know is that I'm Emma. A blonde, blue eyed, tall girl from a little town in Wisconsin. That's all there is.
When choosing a religion became something I need to do, I was torn. My mother had raised me to believe there was a God and there were angels and that I could ask for help and if I was good I would receive it. I was baptized in a Catholic church. I went to some weekly youth church meetings. I watched Touched by an Angel and Seventh Heaven. I took the advice I was given and I did what I could with it.
But things weren't as easy as everyone said. I was a good kid. I behaved when I could, even though I've apparently always had a mind of my own. But I was no bully and I took care of my little sister, I ate my peas (sometimes), I went to school...I like to think I was a good kid.
But life at home grew unstable. My older sister wasn't exactly a role model. This is something I don't tell very often, so it's a big deal I'm adding this to my blog. But all I'll say is that she really tested us as a family. She did some things that I hope she regrets and my home life was held together by a very thin string. I did my prayers though. I prayed and I prayed. I gave things up. I made deals with God. I was nicer to my little sister. I did as my parents said. I behaved. But things never got better. I asked for everything to get better. I asked for the yelling to stop. I asked for my older sister back. I wanted my family back. If there is a God and he did hear me, it took him about four-five years to get my messages.
But the thing is, whether there was a God or not, it wasn't his problem to fix. I hated God at this time because he would not help me. But I know, now, that all I needed was for my sister to wake up and realize she loved us. I just wanted her to know we were all she had and I wanted her to show that she loved me back. What I needed was only something she could give. God can't make someone else do something. He can't control the way people think. And if he did, I would not be happy. I would want me sister to get better because she wanted to, not because God made her want to.
I guess it all gets a little sloppy and confusing at moments like this because some people would be like but God is everyone and everything and he is you. Some people are like God is up in the sky watching you from below. Wherever He is or whatever He is, doesn't matter.
If there is a God, then those who believe him would be right. That would be their price, the glory of knowing they are right.
But whether there is one or not should not be an everyday issue going on. That's what I realized. When people ask me," what religion are you?" I simply say none. Then they ask "so atheist?" and I say "no". I don't need a label and I shouldn't have to have one.
What religion someone is should not need to be common knowledge.
I chose to be of no religion what so ever because I don't know what to believe and I don't care.
I just want to spend my life living happy, making others happy, and dieing happy. Where I go from there is a mystery. But I'll worry about it when I get there. Until then, I'll do what I want.
The only problem to choosing to be of no specific religion is that while I choose to keep thoughts of God to myself, the rest of the world is making it world news. I can't seem to live life without having to choose a side. Somewhere sometime someone drew a line. And now everyone feels a need to choose. I don't want to. But when people make the issue of God and Jesus and the Bible and everything like that a topic on everyone's mind, I feel the pressure. I won't choose because I don't want to. I don't need to. And especially because the world is trying to make me.
Also, if you work you're butt off, or someone does something nice for you, or just things go right, why is that God gets the credit. I know that if there is one, He'd be thrilled that you're life is going good. But when you work hard or someone does something good, why don't they get the credit? We all have freewill, right? Then why don't those nice people out there get credited for doing kind acts? Why is it when you study hard, work hard, or just try hard, the credit is given to God. YOU did it! Be proud and take that pride, rejoice in it. You deserve it. I believe that people should be credited for the good they do. God can't make anyone do anything. Only we can. Accept it and work it. It was you. Be happy about it.
If there's a God, he will accept me whether I spent time worshiping him or not because I'm a good person.
I never hurt people intentionally. I spend too much time taking care of other people. I live life to the fullest. And I am a very accepting person and I don't hate others because they are different.
Another thing to add is the whole bringing religion into politics. Our founding fathers were in fact not religious. People always say we had Christian founding fathers, but they were far from that.
If your beliefs say that doing an action that is legal for others to do is wrong, then don't do it. It's better to test those of your religion by giving them the options anyways. If you think it's wrong that leave it be and don't do it.
But why in the world do religious people think it is their right to make these decisions for other people. It's not their place and it's not their life. If someone wants to sin and go to hell, then let them. It leaves more room in heaven. Don't think it's God's way to legalize everything against the bible. Might as well throw away the constitution and use the bible instead.
I'm sorry to sound so pissed off, but really. Everyone has their own choice in life to do what they want with it. Let them live it.
Okay I realize in the blog I sound like I'm generalizing all religious people into one group of crazy religious people. I know there are people of faith who are good. I have friends and family who are religious and I know they are the purest hearts ever. But when there is good there is bad. And the bad is what drives me insane.
Sorry again for this totally nothing to do with Croatia kind of blog. But watching too many religion based documentaries is obviously not good for you.. And so I had a lot of feelings I needed to let out. Thanks for letting me waste your time.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Okay, soo first off...that last blog...ohhh..yeah...ok maybe a little rough.
I was obviously very upset and felt like blogging. It's kind of crazy and angry and weird, I know. So...just kind of ignore it, if you can.
Anyways
I LOVE BRITNEY!
As is that's news. But her new album came out this last week. But Croatia likes to be behind on a lot of things, such as getting Femme Fatale. So I'll have to wait until Croatia gets it. But goodness gracious. Do not tell me her songs suck. They are good. Every album is a little different than the last. Some people might not like it, but it shows that she's progressing and moving with the times instead of trying to hangout to the past. If people want to dance to songs about dancing till the world ends, she'll have it for you. She's fabulous!
This last weekend, I was in Osijek, Vinkovci, and Vukovar. These are some towns in like the Eastern area of Croatia. I liked Osijek because it's this smaller, but kind of big town. It's smaller than Zagreb, like Madison maybe...or a little smaller. But I liked it because I feel like things would feel so much different going to school as an exchange student in a little city like that compared to a freaking capital with one million people in it. My croatian would probably have progressed a whole lot more and my weekend plans would be so much different and I would be friends with more Croatians, especially because it would be doubtful that another exchange student would be in Osijek with me. I'd be even more independent and I don't know...the differences in lifestyles would be soo different for me. And Vinkovci was this really tiny town. I guess there wasn't anything to special about it, but it was this cute little town. Like Waunakee. Hah! It was fun though because we went out clubbing with some cool croatians from there. They were all so nice and friendly and it was fun to go out clubbing somewhere new and make new friends. I think it was really surprising for people there to meet an American. Which is so interesting because I mean I expected from the beginning people would be excited to meet a foriegner, but in Zagreb, they have plenty of tourist that it's a little interesting to them but not mind blowing. I was making friends with some random people in Vinkovci because they heard me speaking English, and they did NOT believe that I was American. They thought I was pretending or something. They were drunk as well, but still! I had to show my drivers license to prove it, but they would not believe it because what the hell would any tourist be doing in a small tiny little town. It was fun. Then we walked around Vukovar and got a nice little tour and some learned about the history and stuff. Vukovar, though, is a very sad place. It's right by the border to Serbia. And it was a huge battlefield during the war. This town is basically known for the destruction and bloodbath it faced during the war. There are so many buildings that are half gone, burned up, falling apart, and covered in bullet holes. There are warning signs around to not walk where people don't normally walk in case of mines since there are still mines around. I mean Serbia destroyed this town. So we got a history of the murders and battles and everything. It was depressing. But I love history and I like to learn this stuff. It's just sad to think about. Then we took a train home and here I am.
I didn't spend much time sleeping, which is a pointless hobby to take up. I like to stay up late. So this weekend I got about 7-8 hours of sleep.
I came home and instead of passing out like any normal human being, I went on skype and talked with my family. It's always something I look forward to of course. I talked with moj tata (my dad) and moja mama (my mom) and moja mlada sestra (little sister). I started talking about packing stuff up, I don't know why. And there is no way in hell that I will be able to pack it all up and take it all back. So I'll have to give up some of my old stuff and send some of it and hopefully pack it all up with no problems. But I'm a pack rack. I suck at throwing stuff away. So we shall see how that one goes.
My mom told me about Ava (my niece). I love seeing Ava on skype. I miss her to death and she's so adorable I can't help myself. But seeing her on skype only makes me miss her so much more that it hurts. And so it's a bittersweet kind of thing.
My mom then started talking to me about how she can't wait for me to come home. And if you know me well enough, you know I'm not very emotional. I don't cry much and if I do, then it sure as hell means something. But I don't know what came over me, my mom started talking about it and saying how she can't wait to hug me and all and it made me cry. Goodness gracious I miss home. I'm not homesick. I mean I guess that looks like it doesn't make sense. But to me, there's a difference between missing home and being homesick. Of course I miss it, it's my home and it's where I've been. But homesickness to me is something more like it's killing you how much you miss home and you don't really feel up for anything other than going home. I mean I miss my family and my friends. But I'm past being homesick.
I will be excited to go home. But I will be soo sad to leave this all. I created a life here. I've created this girl who can survive in a foreign country. I've been drinking coffee as a recreational sport everyday since being here. I've had big ass lunches and barely there dinners. I've figured out how to get somewhere in Zagreb and which tram or bus to take (for the most part at least). I know how to order things in Croatian and how to deal with rude people on the street (ignore them). There is a life here. Not a touristic adventure. A life. My life. And I'll be leaving it in a few months.
But let's not focus on that.
Imma go to them clubs and imma dance and imma take advantage of all the goods i got me here.
I also realized I'm the worst out of all of us kids in Croatia at Croatian. I suck. Suckity suck suck. A few months ago I might have been upset. But like I said, I only have a few months, and no matter how hard I try to push myself, it's always in my mind that I'll be leaving soon, and I'll have no more use of this language. So whatevers.
My grandpa sent me this lovely email and it just made me smile. He sent his usual love and encouragement and sweetness and all. And then at the end he said something that hit me.
"You will always cherish the good and the not so good of Youth Exchange"
I mean duh. There have been some pretty good parts to this exchange that I cherish and will hold onto for the rest of my life, or as long as my memory works (let's be honest, my memory hasn't exactly been the strongest either). But he also said not so good. The not so goods! I will cherish those. They were and are and will be apart of my exchange. And I cherish every moment I have here because it's something that should be and deserves to be cherished.
I love you Opa. You're crazy, but I love you, nonetheless.
I feel like there's never anything too exciting going on with me. But I felt the need to of course apologize for my last blog and to update everyone on my weekend.
Also my weekend was super awesome because Rotary paid for it all. It's about time! It was nice for them to let us go on this expense free weekend and shower us with gifts and hospitality.
I have pictures to upload, college applications to start, notifications to look at, and a bed to sleep in. Busy night for me.
I was obviously very upset and felt like blogging. It's kind of crazy and angry and weird, I know. So...just kind of ignore it, if you can.
Anyways
I LOVE BRITNEY!
As is that's news. But her new album came out this last week. But Croatia likes to be behind on a lot of things, such as getting Femme Fatale. So I'll have to wait until Croatia gets it. But goodness gracious. Do not tell me her songs suck. They are good. Every album is a little different than the last. Some people might not like it, but it shows that she's progressing and moving with the times instead of trying to hangout to the past. If people want to dance to songs about dancing till the world ends, she'll have it for you. She's fabulous!
This last weekend, I was in Osijek, Vinkovci, and Vukovar. These are some towns in like the Eastern area of Croatia. I liked Osijek because it's this smaller, but kind of big town. It's smaller than Zagreb, like Madison maybe...or a little smaller. But I liked it because I feel like things would feel so much different going to school as an exchange student in a little city like that compared to a freaking capital with one million people in it. My croatian would probably have progressed a whole lot more and my weekend plans would be so much different and I would be friends with more Croatians, especially because it would be doubtful that another exchange student would be in Osijek with me. I'd be even more independent and I don't know...the differences in lifestyles would be soo different for me. And Vinkovci was this really tiny town. I guess there wasn't anything to special about it, but it was this cute little town. Like Waunakee. Hah! It was fun though because we went out clubbing with some cool croatians from there. They were all so nice and friendly and it was fun to go out clubbing somewhere new and make new friends. I think it was really surprising for people there to meet an American. Which is so interesting because I mean I expected from the beginning people would be excited to meet a foriegner, but in Zagreb, they have plenty of tourist that it's a little interesting to them but not mind blowing. I was making friends with some random people in Vinkovci because they heard me speaking English, and they did NOT believe that I was American. They thought I was pretending or something. They were drunk as well, but still! I had to show my drivers license to prove it, but they would not believe it because what the hell would any tourist be doing in a small tiny little town. It was fun. Then we walked around Vukovar and got a nice little tour and some learned about the history and stuff. Vukovar, though, is a very sad place. It's right by the border to Serbia. And it was a huge battlefield during the war. This town is basically known for the destruction and bloodbath it faced during the war. There are so many buildings that are half gone, burned up, falling apart, and covered in bullet holes. There are warning signs around to not walk where people don't normally walk in case of mines since there are still mines around. I mean Serbia destroyed this town. So we got a history of the murders and battles and everything. It was depressing. But I love history and I like to learn this stuff. It's just sad to think about. Then we took a train home and here I am.
I didn't spend much time sleeping, which is a pointless hobby to take up. I like to stay up late. So this weekend I got about 7-8 hours of sleep.
I came home and instead of passing out like any normal human being, I went on skype and talked with my family. It's always something I look forward to of course. I talked with moj tata (my dad) and moja mama (my mom) and moja mlada sestra (little sister). I started talking about packing stuff up, I don't know why. And there is no way in hell that I will be able to pack it all up and take it all back. So I'll have to give up some of my old stuff and send some of it and hopefully pack it all up with no problems. But I'm a pack rack. I suck at throwing stuff away. So we shall see how that one goes.
My mom told me about Ava (my niece). I love seeing Ava on skype. I miss her to death and she's so adorable I can't help myself. But seeing her on skype only makes me miss her so much more that it hurts. And so it's a bittersweet kind of thing.
My mom then started talking to me about how she can't wait for me to come home. And if you know me well enough, you know I'm not very emotional. I don't cry much and if I do, then it sure as hell means something. But I don't know what came over me, my mom started talking about it and saying how she can't wait to hug me and all and it made me cry. Goodness gracious I miss home. I'm not homesick. I mean I guess that looks like it doesn't make sense. But to me, there's a difference between missing home and being homesick. Of course I miss it, it's my home and it's where I've been. But homesickness to me is something more like it's killing you how much you miss home and you don't really feel up for anything other than going home. I mean I miss my family and my friends. But I'm past being homesick.
I will be excited to go home. But I will be soo sad to leave this all. I created a life here. I've created this girl who can survive in a foreign country. I've been drinking coffee as a recreational sport everyday since being here. I've had big ass lunches and barely there dinners. I've figured out how to get somewhere in Zagreb and which tram or bus to take (for the most part at least). I know how to order things in Croatian and how to deal with rude people on the street (ignore them). There is a life here. Not a touristic adventure. A life. My life. And I'll be leaving it in a few months.
But let's not focus on that.
Imma go to them clubs and imma dance and imma take advantage of all the goods i got me here.
I also realized I'm the worst out of all of us kids in Croatia at Croatian. I suck. Suckity suck suck. A few months ago I might have been upset. But like I said, I only have a few months, and no matter how hard I try to push myself, it's always in my mind that I'll be leaving soon, and I'll have no more use of this language. So whatevers.
My grandpa sent me this lovely email and it just made me smile. He sent his usual love and encouragement and sweetness and all. And then at the end he said something that hit me.
"You will always cherish the good and the not so good of Youth Exchange"
I mean duh. There have been some pretty good parts to this exchange that I cherish and will hold onto for the rest of my life, or as long as my memory works (let's be honest, my memory hasn't exactly been the strongest either). But he also said not so good. The not so goods! I will cherish those. They were and are and will be apart of my exchange. And I cherish every moment I have here because it's something that should be and deserves to be cherished.
I love you Opa. You're crazy, but I love you, nonetheless.
I feel like there's never anything too exciting going on with me. But I felt the need to of course apologize for my last blog and to update everyone on my weekend.
Also my weekend was super awesome because Rotary paid for it all. It's about time! It was nice for them to let us go on this expense free weekend and shower us with gifts and hospitality.
I have pictures to upload, college applications to start, notifications to look at, and a bed to sleep in. Busy night for me.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
So I'm going to keep this post short. Short and sweet (sarcasm)
Throughout high school, I took part in many fundraisers. I put some together, I donated time, I donated money, and I worked my butt off for the most part. I spent one month of my summer in the blazing humid heat of Mississippi living in a smelly tent with two other girls getting covered in sweat and dirt doing hard labor day after day listening to the worst, most evil leader ever with the Student Conservation Association. I've stayed up all night walking and talking and wanting to pass out for Relay for Life. I was there to paint posters, hang them up, encourage students, and come up with ideas for Culture Club to only have half the student population give a shit and maybe 3 club members even bother to help me and have all of them take credit. Like seriously, I raised so much money to help other countries and no one gives or gave a damn.
I could fill my life with charitable actions and still not receive one thank you letter, one reward, or even a freaking scholarship.
Don't get me wrong, even if there wasn't a chance of getting a scholarship, I would have still done stuff. I give too much of a shit to not, which happens to be a terrible trait I found out.
It just sucks to have spent so much time building this resume of experiences to only find out that no college gives a damn.
I'm not smart enough, ethnic enough, religious enough, or just exciting enough.
I'm just pissed and this is my rant.
People always say that doing good deeds for others will pay off. Well I'm still waiting. And as far as I can see, it's only made things harder and that saying has only gotten my hopes high enough to make it hurt when nothing follows through.
Fuck charity. Fuck volunteering. No one cares if I do it or not and at this point I'm not sure if I care anymore.
I'm hurt. I'm pissed. And now I just feel stupid.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
By the way, I'm not doing college anymore. I'm giving up before I even have the chance. Who wants to spend more money than they have to only find out they aren't cut out for anything other than sitting at home and blogging about how sucky things can be.
Throughout high school, I took part in many fundraisers. I put some together, I donated time, I donated money, and I worked my butt off for the most part. I spent one month of my summer in the blazing humid heat of Mississippi living in a smelly tent with two other girls getting covered in sweat and dirt doing hard labor day after day listening to the worst, most evil leader ever with the Student Conservation Association. I've stayed up all night walking and talking and wanting to pass out for Relay for Life. I was there to paint posters, hang them up, encourage students, and come up with ideas for Culture Club to only have half the student population give a shit and maybe 3 club members even bother to help me and have all of them take credit. Like seriously, I raised so much money to help other countries and no one gives or gave a damn.
I could fill my life with charitable actions and still not receive one thank you letter, one reward, or even a freaking scholarship.
Don't get me wrong, even if there wasn't a chance of getting a scholarship, I would have still done stuff. I give too much of a shit to not, which happens to be a terrible trait I found out.
It just sucks to have spent so much time building this resume of experiences to only find out that no college gives a damn.
I'm not smart enough, ethnic enough, religious enough, or just exciting enough.
I'm just pissed and this is my rant.
People always say that doing good deeds for others will pay off. Well I'm still waiting. And as far as I can see, it's only made things harder and that saying has only gotten my hopes high enough to make it hurt when nothing follows through.
Fuck charity. Fuck volunteering. No one cares if I do it or not and at this point I'm not sure if I care anymore.
I'm hurt. I'm pissed. And now I just feel stupid.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
By the way, I'm not doing college anymore. I'm giving up before I even have the chance. Who wants to spend more money than they have to only find out they aren't cut out for anything other than sitting at home and blogging about how sucky things can be.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
As a lot of people have probably come to realize, life is short. Unfortunately for some, it's too short.
I'm here in Croatia. Having the time of my life, supposedly. And I feel this incredible weight of saddness and greif that soo unbearable. I may not know the people who die young. I may not be close with them. And I may have never had a chance to share a laugh with them. But just knowing someone is enough to feel their loss. It's enough to wonder.
What am I doing with my life? How do I take advantage of it? How do I truly live each moment to it's fullest?
I'm an exchange student. I'm doing something most people never do. But still, I'm either seriously feeling pain for the loss of a life or I'm feeling like I may not be doing the most I can with mine.
Today is a sad day.
I think about losing Leah, Sara, James, Ava, my mom or my dad. The idea of it is sad. It's lonely. It's heartbreaking. It's unbearable. The actual feeling is something I either can't or won't let myself reach. I can't put myself there because I don't ever want to think it's possible. I can't possibly bring myself to imagine living each or any day without them there, safe and breathing.
These are the people who make Emma, Emma. I wouldn't be this person who has been doing what I do without having them there. They hold my hand, they listen to me, they make me smile, they infuriate me, but no matter which way it goes, I love them all with every single inch of my heart.
I don't have a lot of beliefs. I'm not religious. I don't put in a lot of thought for where life goes or where people end up, but to me, it doesn't matter. Life should be cared for. It should be loved, cherished, appreciated, and lived to it's greatest. In the end, it doesn't matter what will happen. It only matters what has been done.
To lose a friend would be just as terrible as well. To lose anyone...pain is pain. A lose is a lose.
It just makes me think. What am I doing to help? How is any of this significant enough to safe a life? What have I done?
What I do seem pointless if I can't do anything to save someone, if I can't help anyone.
I mean really, what have I done?
Sorry to turn this all around to talk about myself. But let's be honest. Everyone probably thinks this.
The people who have been extremely and devastatingly sadden by the loss of a life who was close to you, you are my inspiration.
The ability to live each day like you are normal, like you're fine, like you haven't lost a piece of yourself, it's incredible. And you are so strong. You are the people who truly live the hard lives. The life that you never feel will be the same, the life that you never feel will be full again.
Honestly, I'm not doing this for attention. I'm not the type to take miserable situations of other people and make them my own. I don't need anyone's sympathy, it's not mine to take. But death is a sad thing. And I think everyone or anyone can feel the way I do, no matter how close you are to someone.
Madi, I didn't know you like others did. And I can't say I was close to you, but I can say I will miss you. I will miss the life you never had. I will miss the life you never finished. I will miss the breaths you will never take. But in whatever religion you live by, in whatever morals you had, in whatever way you believed, wherever you are, I know it's good. I know you're fine. I know it's easier for you. You should know this, the world will not turn the same without you walking it. The people you've touched will never think, talk, feel the same as they did. Like everyone else says and knows, you ARE a beautiful person. Thank you for showing everyone how valuable a life can truly be.
RIP Madi Aiello March 20th 2011
I'm here in Croatia. Having the time of my life, supposedly. And I feel this incredible weight of saddness and greif that soo unbearable. I may not know the people who die young. I may not be close with them. And I may have never had a chance to share a laugh with them. But just knowing someone is enough to feel their loss. It's enough to wonder.
What am I doing with my life? How do I take advantage of it? How do I truly live each moment to it's fullest?
I'm an exchange student. I'm doing something most people never do. But still, I'm either seriously feeling pain for the loss of a life or I'm feeling like I may not be doing the most I can with mine.
Today is a sad day.
I think about losing Leah, Sara, James, Ava, my mom or my dad. The idea of it is sad. It's lonely. It's heartbreaking. It's unbearable. The actual feeling is something I either can't or won't let myself reach. I can't put myself there because I don't ever want to think it's possible. I can't possibly bring myself to imagine living each or any day without them there, safe and breathing.
These are the people who make Emma, Emma. I wouldn't be this person who has been doing what I do without having them there. They hold my hand, they listen to me, they make me smile, they infuriate me, but no matter which way it goes, I love them all with every single inch of my heart.
I don't have a lot of beliefs. I'm not religious. I don't put in a lot of thought for where life goes or where people end up, but to me, it doesn't matter. Life should be cared for. It should be loved, cherished, appreciated, and lived to it's greatest. In the end, it doesn't matter what will happen. It only matters what has been done.
To lose a friend would be just as terrible as well. To lose anyone...pain is pain. A lose is a lose.
It just makes me think. What am I doing to help? How is any of this significant enough to safe a life? What have I done?
What I do seem pointless if I can't do anything to save someone, if I can't help anyone.
I mean really, what have I done?
Sorry to turn this all around to talk about myself. But let's be honest. Everyone probably thinks this.
The people who have been extremely and devastatingly sadden by the loss of a life who was close to you, you are my inspiration.
The ability to live each day like you are normal, like you're fine, like you haven't lost a piece of yourself, it's incredible. And you are so strong. You are the people who truly live the hard lives. The life that you never feel will be the same, the life that you never feel will be full again.
Honestly, I'm not doing this for attention. I'm not the type to take miserable situations of other people and make them my own. I don't need anyone's sympathy, it's not mine to take. But death is a sad thing. And I think everyone or anyone can feel the way I do, no matter how close you are to someone.
Madi, I didn't know you like others did. And I can't say I was close to you, but I can say I will miss you. I will miss the life you never had. I will miss the life you never finished. I will miss the breaths you will never take. But in whatever religion you live by, in whatever morals you had, in whatever way you believed, wherever you are, I know it's good. I know you're fine. I know it's easier for you. You should know this, the world will not turn the same without you walking it. The people you've touched will never think, talk, feel the same as they did. Like everyone else says and knows, you ARE a beautiful person. Thank you for showing everyone how valuable a life can truly be.
RIP Madi Aiello March 20th 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Good lord. I realized I haven't put enough pictures on here. I mean most of my pictures are on Facebook. But some people who read this either don't have one or are clueless when it comes to working one. So here some random pictures of my year here. Some are recent, some are old. But yeah just a little peep show for everyone.
Oh also, I didn't mention. The Monday after getting back from Budapest, I went to Venice. And I went during Carnival. It's like Mardi Gras for those who don't know, except all of Europe celebrates it. It's a very big deal. So lots of people walk around Venice is masks and funky outfits. It was amazing. I LOVED Venice. I wouldn't live there, but I feel like everyone should go there at least once in their life. Also I had some Italian pizza...not as good as I expected, but I heard that pizza in Venice is disappointing. There are better places to go to in Italy for a good slice of Italian pizza. I got to ride a gandala too! Which is normally crazy expensive from like 75 to 100 euros a person for like 30 minutes. It was a week day and rainy so we got him to lower the price to 15 euros. Well worth it! I LOVE EUROPE!
Budapest with Jana and Emilia
Budapest
Me and Emilia with the Budapest Parliament
Me and Jana on a bus in Budapest
uhh...well...yeah...
exploring Budapest
Leaving Budapest
Me and my Czech love
Laura and I in Venice!
I freaking rode a gandala
From way back in Salzburg
Great train ride to Salzburg
Old photo from Zadar with Dani
Me being classy in Salzburg
Valentine's Day
VENICE!
Clubbing in Croatia
So like I've said I'm not a good writer. I know my flaws. It's not something I take pride in, but I put them out in the open because I'm not ashamed of myself and my imperfections.
Which on a side note, I think that people should analyze themselves more often. It's not a bad thing to do . It's okay to look at yourself in a different way. I mean, obviously not in a negative way. Like Gaga says, "There's nothing wrong with loving who you are, she said, cause God made you perfectly". Okay yes I'm not religious, so ignore that part. But anyways, I feel like self reflecting is what makes people grow. In a good way too. Without self reflection, people don't grow, emotionally, physically, and whatever other way a person could grow. But it's something I've learned through other peoples ignorance. I analyze myself, sometimes too often, and sometimes not enough. But I don't hide things. I'm open about everything, which sometimes leads to me talking loudly about tampons on a quiet tram filled with people. But still, I have no shame. What I'm trying to get across is that it's okay to open yourself up to yourself. It's not suppose to be scary, and if it is, hopefully it's for the best and you'll see what you need to fix about yourself. It's okay to make mistakes, and it's definitely okay to own up to them to yourself and to others. But hiding it only makes you naive and sometimes, yes, a little childish.
But anyways back to my poor writing skills. To the people who seem to be determined enough to read every blog, thanks. I know it's not always easy. Sometimes I'm depressing and talking about missing stuff. Sometimes I just brag like any common exchange student, which may seem like I shouldn't apologize, but I still am sorry, I mean I can't help it if my life is awesome (that's a joke, fyi for those who don't see my sarcasm). Sometimes, in a blue moon, I'm insightful. But this is who I am. This is my brain. Be thankful you don't live in my head. It's chaotic and can be a disaster. I've had 18 years with it and I'm still trying to get the hang of things up there.
I was looking at some old blogs and some comments and I'm not sure if other people can see them, which I think you can, but I just wanted to share some with people.
After one of my blogs blabbering about how I miss everyone and stuff, I got this comment:
When I got back to the US after a year in Spain, I regretted all the time I spent thinking about home while I was abroad. After returning to the US, I readjusted to the same old in no time, and then it was Spain (for you, Croatia) that I was missing. It's easier said than done, but don't worry too much about home; everyone will be there when you get back. You're not missing out; you're having an amazing year, with experiences that many will never have in their lifetime. Enjoy every day, as time is finite. When you have those days where you can physically feel the ache for home, meet up with a friend or explore some more of your city. Being around others usually got my mind off of things
She's so right. I mean now looking back at those blogs, I'm just thinking piss off Emma. You're in freaking Croatia. Enjoy it. Breath it in. Work it, girl.
Sometimes it's easier said than done, but this isn't one of those blogs so I'll avoid talking about that.
Anyways, like I said, she's totally right. This is a once in a life time experience. Most people don't get this kind of opportunity. And I'm bitching about it (excuse my language, but I am a teenager, however delusional you may be to think I'm mature, I talk like a teenager. And I won't pretend to talk like someone else does in my blogs). So, I'm taking her advice. I'll miss everything, of course. But I'll stop worrying about it. Be busy. Fill my days with memories and activities and pictures and, yes, Croatian. My life back home is waiting for me, I'm not waiting for it. I have my time here, and it's limited. I can spend the rest of my life in the states if I so choose. "Time is finite". Damn straight.
Thank you.
Another comment was from one of my earlier blogs when I first realized the constant haters that bitch about the U.S. Which I still do not stand corrected. It's true. People hate the U.S. and Americans. I mean not everyone, but I do hear a lot of people give us shit over stupid stuff.
It's like Britney's life. People take the little stupid mistakes that Britney makes along with the rest of the world, and publish it with critiques and bashing and hating basically. They take little things she does wrong and make it into a crime or something. People love to hate on Britney because A) she's fabulous and everyone's jealous (duh) B) everyone knows Britney so everyone reads about her which makes good money and good publicity and C) it makes people feel better about themselves.
So turn that all into the rest of the world being the paparazzi to the U.S.'s life and there ya go.
Haters gonna hate.
But anyways I got this from my wonderfully feminine brother, Jamesy
Well, I agree; you do come from a family of opionated people. But we're gutsy; that's why we stand up for what we believe in. But, I understand it's not really safe to do that where you are. BUT. I do believe the people around you are being extremely rude to be criticizing your home. So, would it be possible to just say, next time, "Hey, I would really appreciate it if you didn't criticize my home. I wouldn't do that to you." Maybe? I think it would be worth a shot.
Advice from afar. He's still got it.
My family=loud.
I know I've said this before but I don't think people who don't know us,\ understand how much of an understatement loud is.
We're extreme. We yell, we're crazy and extremely opinionated. We hold nothing back. It's always out there. Within seconds of meeting us, people generally know more about us then most people should that soon.
We take risks because we never know where the line is drawn. We have no feelings of embarrassments. We don't care what other people think. We say what we want. We do what we want. And God knows, we eat what we want (unrelated). But yes, next time people feel like saying crap about the U.S. I won't be quiet. I'll just be like hey, not cool. I won't go crazy defensive, but I won't be quiet and collective either, not my style.
I love you James.
Also, there's another thing I want to bring up. Coming back will be a challenge. For everyone. Not just for me. Everyone will have to fit me back in, whoever I come back as. (well not have to, but it would be appreciated if people made an effort). I'll be awkward and feel funny trying to find who I am again and how I'll fit back in the States. It'll be shaky. It's for sure. I'm different here because in order to be apart of my surroundings, I've had to blend and shift into a Croatian. Well, in a way. I'm still a little to loud for these people, and still a little careless of how I look or appear or how others may think of me. But I've changed to fit my surroundings. It's not bad. It's life. But i'll have to do the same when I get back. I literally can not remember somethings about the way I lived in the U.S. I can't remember how I acted in certain situations or who I was with certain people. I feel weird about it all. But, I may be a little ahead of myself since I have like four too short of months left, but this is a warning to all. Or at least to who ever is gracious, curious, creepy, or caring enough to read this.
Once again, thanks to everyone who takes time to read my blogs. Much appreciated.
Also I want to say real quick. I love the exchangers. They are what make my year here what it is. I feel totally myself around them.
There's no real point to this blog.
Like most things I talk about, there's not much point.
But anyways, Hello, everyone.
I miss everyone. I love everyone. I love my life, here, back home, and wherever else I may be when I'm with people as awesome as my friends and family.
I went to a rotary Masquerade.
I went as a cat.
Best. Costume. Ever.
Which on a side note, I think that people should analyze themselves more often. It's not a bad thing to do . It's okay to look at yourself in a different way. I mean, obviously not in a negative way. Like Gaga says, "There's nothing wrong with loving who you are, she said, cause God made you perfectly". Okay yes I'm not religious, so ignore that part. But anyways, I feel like self reflecting is what makes people grow. In a good way too. Without self reflection, people don't grow, emotionally, physically, and whatever other way a person could grow. But it's something I've learned through other peoples ignorance. I analyze myself, sometimes too often, and sometimes not enough. But I don't hide things. I'm open about everything, which sometimes leads to me talking loudly about tampons on a quiet tram filled with people. But still, I have no shame. What I'm trying to get across is that it's okay to open yourself up to yourself. It's not suppose to be scary, and if it is, hopefully it's for the best and you'll see what you need to fix about yourself. It's okay to make mistakes, and it's definitely okay to own up to them to yourself and to others. But hiding it only makes you naive and sometimes, yes, a little childish.
But anyways back to my poor writing skills. To the people who seem to be determined enough to read every blog, thanks. I know it's not always easy. Sometimes I'm depressing and talking about missing stuff. Sometimes I just brag like any common exchange student, which may seem like I shouldn't apologize, but I still am sorry, I mean I can't help it if my life is awesome (that's a joke, fyi for those who don't see my sarcasm). Sometimes, in a blue moon, I'm insightful. But this is who I am. This is my brain. Be thankful you don't live in my head. It's chaotic and can be a disaster. I've had 18 years with it and I'm still trying to get the hang of things up there.
I was looking at some old blogs and some comments and I'm not sure if other people can see them, which I think you can, but I just wanted to share some with people.
After one of my blogs blabbering about how I miss everyone and stuff, I got this comment:
When I got back to the US after a year in Spain, I regretted all the time I spent thinking about home while I was abroad. After returning to the US, I readjusted to the same old in no time, and then it was Spain (for you, Croatia) that I was missing. It's easier said than done, but don't worry too much about home; everyone will be there when you get back. You're not missing out; you're having an amazing year, with experiences that many will never have in their lifetime. Enjoy every day, as time is finite. When you have those days where you can physically feel the ache for home, meet up with a friend or explore some more of your city. Being around others usually got my mind off of things
She's so right. I mean now looking back at those blogs, I'm just thinking piss off Emma. You're in freaking Croatia. Enjoy it. Breath it in. Work it, girl.
Sometimes it's easier said than done, but this isn't one of those blogs so I'll avoid talking about that.
Anyways, like I said, she's totally right. This is a once in a life time experience. Most people don't get this kind of opportunity. And I'm bitching about it (excuse my language, but I am a teenager, however delusional you may be to think I'm mature, I talk like a teenager. And I won't pretend to talk like someone else does in my blogs). So, I'm taking her advice. I'll miss everything, of course. But I'll stop worrying about it. Be busy. Fill my days with memories and activities and pictures and, yes, Croatian. My life back home is waiting for me, I'm not waiting for it. I have my time here, and it's limited. I can spend the rest of my life in the states if I so choose. "Time is finite". Damn straight.
Thank you.
Another comment was from one of my earlier blogs when I first realized the constant haters that bitch about the U.S. Which I still do not stand corrected. It's true. People hate the U.S. and Americans. I mean not everyone, but I do hear a lot of people give us shit over stupid stuff.
It's like Britney's life. People take the little stupid mistakes that Britney makes along with the rest of the world, and publish it with critiques and bashing and hating basically. They take little things she does wrong and make it into a crime or something. People love to hate on Britney because A) she's fabulous and everyone's jealous (duh) B) everyone knows Britney so everyone reads about her which makes good money and good publicity and C) it makes people feel better about themselves.
So turn that all into the rest of the world being the paparazzi to the U.S.'s life and there ya go.
Haters gonna hate.
But anyways I got this from my wonderfully feminine brother, Jamesy
Well, I agree; you do come from a family of opionated people. But we're gutsy; that's why we stand up for what we believe in. But, I understand it's not really safe to do that where you are. BUT. I do believe the people around you are being extremely rude to be criticizing your home. So, would it be possible to just say, next time, "Hey, I would really appreciate it if you didn't criticize my home. I wouldn't do that to you." Maybe? I think it would be worth a shot.
Advice from afar. He's still got it.
My family=loud.
I know I've said this before but I don't think people who don't know us,\ understand how much of an understatement loud is.
We're extreme. We yell, we're crazy and extremely opinionated. We hold nothing back. It's always out there. Within seconds of meeting us, people generally know more about us then most people should that soon.
We take risks because we never know where the line is drawn. We have no feelings of embarrassments. We don't care what other people think. We say what we want. We do what we want. And God knows, we eat what we want (unrelated). But yes, next time people feel like saying crap about the U.S. I won't be quiet. I'll just be like hey, not cool. I won't go crazy defensive, but I won't be quiet and collective either, not my style.
I love you James.
Also, there's another thing I want to bring up. Coming back will be a challenge. For everyone. Not just for me. Everyone will have to fit me back in, whoever I come back as. (well not have to, but it would be appreciated if people made an effort). I'll be awkward and feel funny trying to find who I am again and how I'll fit back in the States. It'll be shaky. It's for sure. I'm different here because in order to be apart of my surroundings, I've had to blend and shift into a Croatian. Well, in a way. I'm still a little to loud for these people, and still a little careless of how I look or appear or how others may think of me. But I've changed to fit my surroundings. It's not bad. It's life. But i'll have to do the same when I get back. I literally can not remember somethings about the way I lived in the U.S. I can't remember how I acted in certain situations or who I was with certain people. I feel weird about it all. But, I may be a little ahead of myself since I have like four too short of months left, but this is a warning to all. Or at least to who ever is gracious, curious, creepy, or caring enough to read this.
Once again, thanks to everyone who takes time to read my blogs. Much appreciated.
Also I want to say real quick. I love the exchangers. They are what make my year here what it is. I feel totally myself around them.
There's no real point to this blog.
Like most things I talk about, there's not much point.
But anyways, Hello, everyone.
I miss everyone. I love everyone. I love my life, here, back home, and wherever else I may be when I'm with people as awesome as my friends and family.
I went to a rotary Masquerade.
I went as a cat.
Best. Costume. Ever.
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